Relief, Respite and Improvement

Relief was my main thought having received the results of my MRI, undeniable relief. Also, for the first time in some weeks my symptoms began to abate. My legs didn’t feel so heavy, the tingling sensation in my hands drastically reduced. My grip even seemed to be showing the smallest signs of improvement. After feeling unsteady on my feet following my fall outside the hospital a week or so earlier, I even surprised my family by walking 4 or so miles around Temple Newsam Estate as an Easter Sunday treat. I thoroughly enjoyed seeing all the newborn animals in the estate farm and walking around the ponds and orangery.

The improvement was so apparent that at this juncture a colleague and my partner revisited the idea that an element of my symptoms could be down to health related anxiety, or at least worsened by it. This was a notion I had previously dismissed, but now it required some more serious thought, and sure enough, the more I read about the manifestation of physical symptoms the more I took it seriously. After another prolonged period of Googlage (I am my own worst enemy) it was easily identifiable to me that my frequent internet searches were having and adverse effect on my health and almost certainly were a cause of anxiety.

Queue my third trip to Robin Lane Surgery. This time to see Dr. R. Ashcroft. After a brief explanation of my current situation and on-going symptoms, the Dr confirmed what I had already read and the staggering number of ways anxiety can manifest, most specifically with physical symptoms. It was a very sobering experience, and I began to feel a wave of compassion for anyone who had previously struggled with stress, anxiety or any similar debilitating, miserable conditions. The point was once again re-iterated - GOOGLE IS THE ENEMY. Up until this point I had been medication free, but this encounter, coupled with my on-going symptoms meant I left with my first prescription and I started taking Citalopram.